Last night

Wandered around all the great spots of granada and said goodby to the city.We went to the mirador de san nicolas and watched night fall. For some reason, I couldn’t stop crying. Stephane and his friend were there, and so I was really embarassed to cry infront of them. “I usually don’t cry, I don’t know whats wrongw ith me, I just can’t stop” I tried to explain. Stephane’s friend just looked at me and said “maybe this is the first time you really felt fsad
Went to the Hostal to say goodbye to Tyler and some of the employees I kind of know (but not really). I don’t really know why I went, but I’m glad I did. I don’t know tyler that well, but I really enjoyed talking with him. There are only a few people in this world you can actlaully converse with. Converse as in back and forth questioning, not just dull active listening. Challenging ideas, looking for consistency. I wish I had net him earlier in my stay in granada. For some reason, even though it was irrelevent, speaking to him just made me feel better. He created his own life away from the states, and it turned out wonderfully. Why couldn’t I do the same? The world really is just a plane ride away.
Found Stephane and his friend a little later, while wandering by myself infront of the cathedral. There was the usual crowd of hippies botelloning with guitars and girls dancing and everyone clapping. And the crying commenced. We went to the tree plaza in Realejo (placeta de carlos cano) and I thought about how that grafitti tree, although it is composed of two destructive things (an abandoned house and grafitti) It can still be something beautiful. I want to be like that tree.
At about 3am we hiked up to the top of the Alhambra. Saw a park I’ve never seen before, was captivated by the fountains (running water on a humid night will do that). Walked around the public grounds of the Alhambra and suddenly realized how much I’ve changed. Sitting in the exact spot I sat when I first got to granada, looking at the city and sacromonte, my old feelings of indimidation, and unworthyness had transformed themseves to a feeling uf undeniable love. I have literally fallen in love with a city. My heart is about to be broken and I can't do anything about it. When the wind blows a certain driection, you can hear the echoing palmas and the songs of flamenquistas in the caves. It is the sound that has been in my head all my life..